10 Stupid Food Hacks and a Blatantly Obvious One!

I am all for good ideas that will save time, make cooking easier or meals better which is why I wrote a book of sensible and seriously useful cooking tips (see below) but some of these so called food hacks I have been seeing on the internet recently are ridiculous!

Here are 10 food hacks that I am totally hacked off with!

Halve little grape or cherry tomatoes by placing them between two plastic lids. 

Press down the top lid and gently slice through the tomatoes. A yogurt lid is suggested for this.

How many tomatoes can you do at a time with a couple of yogurt lids? Ten-ish? How long does it take? I think it would be quicker, easier and safer to cut 10 or so little tomatoes in half with a knife than try to hold them in place between two lids and slide a knife between. Is it really beyond people to do this 10 times?

Use a Panini Maker to Make Omelettes

Well really!  A panini maker will just result in some cooked egg which is nothing like the light moist dish deserving of the name “omelette”.

See here for how to make an omelette, it is nowhere near as difficult as you might think, in fact it’s quite easy.

Squeeze lemons with tongs – why?

Here’s why not!!

Hands are free, very rarely need replacing and are great tools for squeezing lemons (useful food hack – wiggle your clean fingers in the cavity of the fruit to squeeze out every drop) and you can use your other hand to catch the pips.

 

Purpose made lemon juicers work perfectly, of course, they get all the juice and they catch the pips.

Tongs – I’ve just tried doing this and found it tricky, uncontrollable, squirty and they don’t catch the pips.

I recently read two suggestions for “coping” with butternut squash ...

Use a mallet to tap your knife into the squash

This sounds dangerous to me. And …

To avoid “hours of terror” before preparing a squash and “many excruciating minutes” cutting it … “ prick it with a fork and put in the microwave for a few minutes first.”

That might help and is certainly preferable to bashing a knife with a mallet.

Alternatively just a large sharp knife for cutting and a smaller sharp knife or potato peeler for peeling will do the job nicely.

~   Lay the squash on its side and cut off the very end with the stalk – cut 1 in the image below
~   Now cut it just at the end of the long straight bit before it swells out – cut 2 below.
~   Stand this piece on one end and using the small sharp knife cut off strips of peel in a downward direction or use a potato peeler.
~   Cut off the end of the rounded half of squash – cut 3. 
~   Stand it on a cut end and cut off the peel as above or use a potato peeler.
~   Cut it in half – cut 4.
~   Using a sharp edged teaspoon remove the seeds and membrane in the middle.

See here for delicious ideas for using your squash (including a way that needs less frightening cutting and no peeling).   

And here is a food hack of my very own …

With large round solid things like butternut squash instead of moving the knife back and forth to cut it I wedge the blade where I want to make the cut then hold it still and move the squash back and forth. I find this much safer and easier.  

Shred chicken breasts using the K-beater and your mixer!!!

Isn’t this a bit strange and a lot of faff for nothing? How about 2 forks or even a sharp knife (again)? WTF?

Use an egg slicer to slice garlic, mushrooms or strawberries

And there was me thinking it was daft using an egg slicer to slice eggs let alone anything else!  Daft, daft, daft. Yet again a sharp knife, only a smaller one this time, is the answer and so much easier!

Chop Herbs with a Pizza Cutter Instead of a Knife

The same site went on to say “even better cut everything with a pizza cutter” which is seriously misguided.  

Chop herbs with a long sharp knife and a rocking motion, sprinkle the board with a little salt before you start to stop the herbs sliding around too much.

Quickly Sear Meat in the Broiler Rather Than on the Stove 

NO, DON’T DO THAT! The whole point of searing meat is so that the juices caramelise leaving a delicious meaty residue which can then be quickly made into a sauce. There is no point in searing the meat otherwise!

Use a pan (which should NOT be non-stick) and see here, for how to easily turn those delicious meaty juices stuck to the pan into a delicious pan sauce in minutes.

For Richer Scrambled Eggs, Use Sour Cream Instead of Milk

I have never, ever whisked milk or cream into eggs for scrambling, and I never will. There is no need or even any point, for richer scrambled eggs here’s how to make scrambled eggs, properly, creamily, and deliciously.

Cook vegetables (and other things) in the dishwasher 

Together with a load of dishes! 

I was surprised to read this. It is suggested that the vegetables are seasoned and then sealed in a jar with a tight screw on lid so that the soapy water can’t get in, it should be placed upright in the dishwasher.  

I don’t have a dishwasher but research has shown that they take between 30 minutes and two hours per cycle, 80 minutes being optimum.  Also that you should probably not open the dishwasher mid-cycle. How well cooked do you like your veggies?

Jack Monroe, and others, make the very valid point that some people don’t have adequate cooking equipment and I sympathise but if you don’t cook why would you have a dishwasher?

To cook vegetables cut them into slices or florets or whatever shape is appropriate, put them in a small pan, just cover with boiling water, add a little salt, bring to the boil, turn down the heat, put on the lid and simmer for about 3 minutes for green vegetables, cauliflower and carrots and 25 minutes or so for potatoes – NOT 80!

This cooking hack is incontrovertible …

Grate your own cheese!!! 

This one, of course, isn’t daft it is absolutely the thing to do.  I saw this in a list of “17 F*cking Brilliant Food Hacks That Will Save You A Lot Of Money” but I think it is more F*cking Blatantly Obvious than brilliant!

“This changes EVERYTHING”

Articles on these “hacks” often say “This changes EVERYTHING” or something similar and I agree – you could hurt your eyes with out-of-control lemon juice, stab yourself whilst bashing a knife with a mallet or cut your finger off sliding a knife between two plastic lids separated by rolly- about tomatoes, etc.

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